• Posted February 24, 2025

Narcissists Feel Left Out and Fuel More Rejection, Study Finds

Narcissists may seem self-assured, but new research shows they often feel excluded -- and their behavior may be making things worse.

Hallmarks of narcissm include an inflated sense of one's importance, a hunger for admiration and negative response to criticism. The new research — published Feb. 20 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology — found that folks with those personality traits are more likely to be left out socially than their peers.

And this rejection only reinforces their narcisstic behaviors, creating what the authors described as a self-perpetuating cycle. "Ostracism — being excluded and ignored — has severe, negative consequences," they wrote.

“Many people think of narcissism in terms of entitlement and arrogance, but our research highlights that narcissists also frequently experience social pain,” lead researcher Christiane Büttner of the University of Basel in Switzerland told The Washington Post.

To explore the link between narcissism and exclusion, researchers analyzed data from multiple surveys and experiments conducted in Germany, the U.S., Britain, Switzerland and New Zealand.

The study focused on “grandiose narcissists.” These are folks who display dominance, rivalry and are extra sensitive to social cues. This form of narcissism differs from “vulnerable narcissism,” which is more closely linked to insecurity, researchers noted.

“One of the biggest questions going into this research was whether narcissists might actually report less ostracism because their grandiose self-image could shield them from perceiving negative treatment, or whether they would report more ostracism due to heightened sensitivity to social cues,” Büttner told The Post in an email.

Within the study, her team examined responses from 1,592 participants in Germany’s long-running Socio-Economic Panel survey. 

Participants rated their traits based on statements like “I deserve to be seen as a great personality,” "I manage to be the center of attention with my outstanding contributions," and "Being a very special person gives me a lot of strength." They reported feelings of exclusion using prompts such as “Other people have ignored me.”

Researchers also analyzed 14 years of data from 72,000 people in a national New Zealand survey. The findings showed that feelings of exclusion often led to more narcissistic traits, and vice versa.

“It’s not just a matter of perception -- narcissists are actually excluded more often,” Büttner said.

In one experiment, participants played a virtual ball-throwing game, where two other players either included or excluded them. 

Even when they received an equal number of throws, narcissistic participants often felt left out.

Another task involved a hypothetical social scenario, where participants were told someone “must have forgotten” that they attended a concert together.

Narcissistic individuals were much more likely to view this as intentional slight, even without clear evidence.

Erica Hepper, a psychologist at the University of Surrey in the U.K. who reviewed the findings, said the study buttresses other research showing  narcissists are “hypersensitive” to social exclusion.

“We already know that narcissists tend to be selfish and lack empathy for others, and that over time they become less well-liked and cause conflict in their relationships,” Hepper told The Post an email.

"The findings are in line with our previous research showing that narcissists can be paranoid that others mean them harm, even when there is no evidence for this. Our research suggests that this is due to narcissists’ constant need to defend their grandiose yet fragile sense of self -- they are always on the lookout for ego-threat so they can deflect it quickly,” Hepper added.

Büttner also noted that narcissism is risk factor for mental health consequences of ostracism, such as depression, anxiety and suicidality.”

“Addressing these dynamics in structured ways, whether in workplaces, therapy, or social interactions, could help reduce the negative consequences of exclusion for both narcissistic individuals and those around them,” she said.

More information

The Mayo Clinic has more on narcissistic personality disorder, including symptoms and causes.

SOURCES: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, study, Feb. 20, 2025; The Washington Post, media report, Feb. 20, 2025